April 8, 2011

Living Wounded or with Our Wounds?

There is a difference.

In my ladies Bible study, we are reading through the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. I LOVE this book!

Every woman is wounded. Captivating walks you through discovering your wounds and healing your wounds. We have spent week after week soul searching. Finally, we were able to discuss healing. The following is taken from chapter 6 of our book and our discussion last night.
Jesus Christ came to save us from our sins, but also to heal us from our wounds. Think about it: A daughter is in an accident, rushed to the emergency room, rescued into stable condition, and ushered into the ICU. The father arrives and decides that Urgent Care treatment is all he is willing to pay for. She will therefore spend the rest of her life in the ICU. Sound realistic? Nope. So why do we think our Heavenly Father will do the same and maybe worse with us? Yes, He sent His Son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. We are in stable condition if we accept Jesus as our Savior. However, Jesus also came to give abundant life (John 10:10). Unfortunately, Satan is the Father of all lies and he seeks to utterly destroy us (John 8:44, 1 Peter 5:8). He convinces us that we have to live wounded; we have to stay in the ICU.

But you see, there is a difference between living wounded and living with our wounds. Here is another illustration: If you were to severely cut your arm, you would have a bloody mess on your hands. You would have to spend weeks cleaning and caring for your wound. Ultimately, it would heal and leave a small scar. Hardly anyone would notice the scar. The only way anyone would know about the wound if you felt lead to show and share.

The same thing occurs with our emotional wounds. When we are initially hurt emotionally, we are bleeding everywhere. We have to go through intense treatment. Once we have healed, we have the scar, but not the intense pain. We learn to live and are able to interact again. We only share our wound when we feel lead. The most significant part of this comparison is the fact that the wound is yours. You need to own it. Don’t let anyone take advantage of your scar or use your scar. This is your battle wound that God will use to minister to others when you are ready. Own it.

Now, how do we heal?

1. Turn from the ways you have sought to heal yourself.

“Your enemy has seized upon your wounds and your sins to pin your heart down.”
We all have those “pet sins” that we personally develop in order to meet our needs instead of allowing God to be our Defender and Protector (Psalm 84:11). Find out what those sins are for you (or ask a spouse or friend if you are brave), and repent (ask God for forgiveness and change).


2. Invite Him In.
After you have asked forgiveness for the sins that your wounds have caused, invite God into the middle of the hurt and pain. Then, surrender the hurt and pain to Him. Ask Him to heal you. Beg Him to heal you.

3. Renounce the agreements you’ve made with your wounds.
We have all believed deceitful messages about our wounds. “Wounds bring messages that FEEL true, so we accept them as TRUTH.” Hence, God’s Word and His messages of love are known intellectually, but are lost on us emotionally. We have labeled ourselves. You need to spend some time in prayer and self-interrogation to discover what names/labels you have given yourself. Again, if you are not sure, more than likely you have verbalized these labels. Ask a spouse or close friend to listen for them.

4. We find our tears.
You have to own the fact that your wounds are painful. You have to face the emotion. If you don’t, you will be suppressing years of pent up emotion and it will eventually leak out in weird behaviors. Hence, people out of “nowhere” have emotional breakdowns and begin to act insane.

5. Forgive.
“We allow God to bring the hurt up from our past, for ‘if forgiveness doesn’t reach the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete.’” Refer to some of my blogs on forgiveness. There will be more to come as well.

Important side note here: You have to allow God to bring up the emotion from the past. Way back at Step 2 of this process, ask Him to dislodge the pent up emotion and to walk you through the pain. If you try to dig it up yourself, it is going to be disastrous. Some of you are in the bottom of your pit right now. You have definitely hit rock bottom. That is so good! Be encouraged! God has thwarted your own “redemptive plans” in order to draw you to Himself. You cannot seek salvation and safety anywhere other than God Himself. He will do whatever it takes to bring you back to Him.

6. Ask Jesus to heal you.
Beg Him.

7. Let Him Father you.
Many of you have a “little girl” trapped deep down inside. The innocent little girl that experienced the deep pain. Find her. Love her. Surrender her to Jesus to nurture, care, love, protect, and heal.

8. Ask God for a new name.
Refer back to Step 3…after you discover how you have been labeled by Satan, ask God to give you a new name. The name by which He calls and views you. This is so cool!!!

Okay…now for the practical side of things.

Because of our wounds and self-medicated responses, most of us have no clue who we really are. So, I need you to start keeping an “About Me” list. When you discover that you like something, write it down. When you find you don’t like something, write it down. Rediscover who you truly are: your favorite color, movie, food, restaurant, past time, book, etc. This is a cool thing to do. If you don’t start loving and caring for yourself, you will never allow God to do it. Get busy and let me know how it goes!

1 comment:

  1. I love this, Nicole! I am so excited that the Ladies' group is reading this. It rocked my world! On my way in to work this morning I heard, Beautiful You by, Johnny Diaz. Pass that along to every woman you know :-)

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