Ya'll, I am currently sitting here in grey (stained) sweatpants, an orange sweatshirt, messy hair, un-brushed (I don't think that's even a word) teeth, and no make-up. And it's 11:45 AM. I am a Cosmo Magazine cover waiting to happen.
I'm just tired. Mommas, can I get an Amen? My alarm clock this morning was a sweet (I guess "sweet" may still be up for debate) voice yelling "MOMMY!" through the entire house. Granted we have a town-home, but you know. From there, we hit the ground running, folks. It was breakfast for the littles, a mess, potty training, a mess, play time, a mess, lunch, a mess, and now nap-time. I have laundry piled sky-high on our bed, crumbs all over the floor, and a sink full of dishes. I could maybe ignore some of this, but I'm OCD. So that ain't happenin'.
Plus, I love to work-out. But lesbihonest (who doesn't love Pitch Perfect?), I am just worn out. And it's 11:45 AM.
I still have a Doctor's appointment for Ryder, grocery shopping, and dinner ahead. I have really battled discouragement due to just feeling plain exhausted and overwhelmed.
So while I was giving my youngest his nap-time bottle, I felt Jesus whisper sweetly to me. (Side note - Don't you think Jesus speaks a little more frequently to us Mommas? Seriously though - I never heard Jesus's voice as much as I do now. Maybe that's just because I am oh, so much more desperate for Him.) He just asked me whose agenda, task list, standards am I trying to live up to? Am I trying to prove myself to someone? Why do I insist on a perfectly clean house 100% of the time? Why do I worry about my weight? Why can't I ever relax? Truly rest?
Every day, I try to prove myself. It's something God is still working to free me from. That's why my word for this year is "FREEDOM". I don't want to feel like I have to prove myself to anyone or even to myself anymore. What is honestly going to happen if the floors don't get vacuumed or the laundry doesn't get put away or I skip my workout for the day? These are all good things - but they can easily because selfish things when they steal my joy and keep me from loving my family and people.
God, free me up. I want to see life as You see life. Give me a peace today and help me accomplish what You deem is important: Loving well.
