Fighter

I just went for a run, which means I just listened to all of my kick butt music. I love me some hardcore music as I race to do my 2-3 miles around the neighborhood. I think I look like Rocky. Everybody else thinks I look like a zombie talking to herself.

So I had this song on repeat:

Until the referee rings the bell, Until both your eyes start to swell, Until the crowd goes home, What we gonna do ya'll? Give 'em hell -Turn their heads, Gonna live life till we're dead! Give me scars, Give me pain! Then they'll say to me, say to me, say to me - There goes a fighter! There goes a fighter! This one's a fighter! That's what they'll say to me, say to me, say to me, This one's a fighter.  

- The Fighter by Gym Class Heroes

I love that song!!! I get so pumped! Wanna know why? Because I AM A FIGHTER!!! And so are you! And as I was jammin' out to this song (and feeling so stinkin' tough because of the "give 'em hell" line - not gonna lie), I couldn't help but think about these verses...

1 Corinthians 9:26: 24: "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control..." 

1 Timothy 6:12: "Fight the good fight of the faith..." 

Proverbs 24:16: "For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity." 

Psalm 3:3: "But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

Ya'll, our adversary the Devil is out to utterly destroy us. But we (those of us who have trusted Christ as our Savior) have the HOLY SPIRIT living inside of us - the same Spirit that Ephesians says raised Christ from the dead. So YOU ARE A FIGHTER! Fight WITH Him, not against Him.

What do I mean? Lean into Him, Surrender to Him, Listen to Him. React the way He would react. Live the way He would live. Do things the way He would do things.

And always remember, you are NOT alone. Hebrews says Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever and that He will NEVER leave your side.

So that anxiety, depression, insecurity, anger, addiction, lust, laziness, control, selfishness, lying, personality disorder, harshness, bitterness, gossip, hurt, betrayal - that you don't think you can ever get over? Think again.

Ephesians 1: 15-20: "For this reason, because I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, I do not cease to give thanks for you,remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places..."

This ONE's a Fighter.

Your Good Life is Trash

So I really wanted to take a nap (honesty), but my blogs come in bursts of angsts and I just had one. So here we go :)

My friend just texted me a few minutes ago. She was wrestling with the fact that she just told "her" story and is now paranoid that "her" story is going to ruin "her" reputation.

(Really quick rabbit trail: Your story is your story. Own it! Just as Paul owned and shared about his thorn in the flesh, so should you when God says it's time!!! Your thorn, your story, is the dark backdrop that illuminates the scandalous grace of Jesus! Preach it! If you don't have a dark backdrop, then you can't share about Jesus's grace because it has nothing to stand in contrast to and you've missed the Gospel.)

Here was my response:

You will always feel a little exposed. Even now when I talk about [my story] at times, I feel exposed because mental illness [or whatever your story is - mine just so happens to include mental illness] is just so personal. And that's why no one talks about it. There will always be a stigma. So whenever you share, you will either free people up or cause people to look at you funny. You just have to decide which is more important to you: Their freedom or your reputation. But no one can take your character and these struggles are what are making you into the wonderful woman that you are! So own them! But also remember that there is no rush to share everything at once. Go at your own pace. Share as much as you are ready to share. But you are NOT crazy. You are brave and courageous for facing these struggles and you are going to be FREE! You will learn through this whole process that the only opinion that matters is God's. That sounds so cliche - but it's true! And He has already declared you HIS - you are LOVED, ACCEPTED, WORTHY, SECURE. There is a verse in Psalms that says HE is the lifter of our heads. I love that verse!!! You can live with your head lifted high because HE is your HEALER! We all have a lot of crazy but we want to mask it. It's the difference between living free and living in bondage. The most free people are those who don't hide their depravity and as a result can celebrate the absolute and extravagant goodness of the Gospel.And that right there triggers my angst: The people who cannot (will not) face their own depravity, their own failures, their own shortcomings because I truly believe they will fall to pieces. Their perceived "good" reputation is the glue that is holding them together emotionally and if that glue ever disintegrates, they won't know who they are anymore.

I just read this in Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman:

Good [people] can depend on their good reputation to meet their desperate need for love.

Dang.

Our good reputations are our identities. It's what we are known for...good parenting, good kids, good disciplines, good behavior, good grades, good choices, good marriage, good clothes, good ministry, good church, good house, good job, good car, good vacations, good college, good work ethic, good friends, good ____________. We are good. And if we cease to be "good", we cease to be us. So when our "goodness" is challenged, it can NEVER be our fault because then we are no longer good. Yikes. Do you see how dangerous this is? Scripture screams at us in Romans 3 that "There’s nobody living right, not even one" (The Message). And we say we believe that. But when was the last time you were brutally, uncomfortably, irrationally, absolutely nothing-to-lose honest? When? Like willing to be told you were wrong, have been wrong, were never right honest?

Ya'll, your "good" reputation is going to keep you living in bondage. It will isolate you. You will never be able to be fully and completely known because you won't want anyone getting too close and potentially seeing that you aren't good. But NO ONE IS GOOD. Nope.

If you are getting nervous thinking I am saying to flaunt your sin, then you are who this blog is written to (and Romans 6, 7, and 8 - I guess Paul and I share the same angst). Yes you, my love. And bless your heart. Be free! Own your freakin train-wreck of a life because then and only then can you be healed and free and then and only then can you love like Jesus loved! And then and only then can you live the life He calls us to live!

See, if you are obsessed with goodness, then that's all you are going to expect from yourself and from other people. And instead of sin and failure pushing you to the cross, it is going to push you further away because you will feel the pressure to "fix it" yourself. You are a PR dream come true, but a Gospel nightmare. And that's miserable. Because Jeremiah 17:9 says we are incapable of being good. And Isaiah says our goodness is filthy. So you are preaching a works based Salvation and Sanctification. You will live an up-tight, fear-driven life because of the fact that you have never experienced the scandalous love, acceptance, grace and forgiveness of Jesus even though you claim to have.

If we could only see ourselves as Christ does. Then we could live as Christ lived. But we can't. And so we don't. And we perpetuate that sad cycle of living to the next generation. And people are leaving the church faster than they are coming. And I don't blame them.

Oh, that is my angst. That we would embrace Honesty. Vulnerability. Gospel preaching, grace living, help me Jesus screaming lives. Cause that's what He expects. Not my goodness. No. Never that. But my utter and complete brokenness smothered in His perfect life. Only that. Cause only when I can stop hiding behind my goodness can He live His life through me.

But You, Oh LORD, are a Shield about me, my glory and the Lifter of My Head. Psalm 3:3 (ESV)

Jesus Smelled Like Smoke

Ya’ll, I think if Jesus walked the earth today, He would wreak of smoke. Wanna know why? Because He would hang around Smokers. And Homosexuals. And Alcoholics. And Drug-Addicts. And Liars. And Cheaters. And the Homeless. And the Divorced. And the Lost. And the Hurting. And the Broken. (We don't all smoke, but you get the idea.)

You know I find it interesting that as Believers, we too often represent this guy: “Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side” (emphasis mine). Anyone know where that section of Scripture is from? Anyone? Anyone? (Sorry - I crack myself up sometimes when I write these things.) It’s from the Parable of the Good Samaritan. A Dude (a Jewish Man - which according to racial code in that day, would be the top of the totem pole) was headed on a journey and was mugged. Three guys saw him: A Priest (Jew), a Levite (Jew), and a Samaritan (the bottom of the totem pole in those days). The only one who helped him was the Samaritan (not a lot needs written here - just let that simmer).

The fact that a Priest and a Levite passed by this broken, messed up, dirty, hurting man just kills me. But how often do we do this as we walk into the doors of our churches? We pull into the parking lot, get out of the car, and pass by hurting people almost instantly. Then we make sure to leave a seat or two between "us" and "them". Now I realize most people “fake it”, but some don’t! And are we even trying to see through the masks or are we too comfortable staying clean and put together?

I will never forget the day I encouraged my friend to come back to church. She had been out for a while. Too long. She told me she was coming just as she was. In her t-shirt and basketball shorts. I have no idea what all she had been involved in to that point, I just wanted her in the service. And so I waited in the parking lot. As soon as I saw her pull in, I went running to her and just hugged her. She wreaked of smoke. We walked into the service and I experienced one of the more powerful lessons I have ever been taught by Jesus. While we were singing, both of her hands were in the air. And I sobbed. Why? Because Jesus met her where she was and walked her in the doors and sat her down and just loved on her. How did He do that? Through ME! Ya’ll, I am not tooting my own horn - but c’mon! Don’t we want to be a part of that? Don’t we want to have that kind of legacy???

Bryant and I get invited to a lot of birthday parties that are mainly made up of people who don’t know Jesus. And I LOVE it! Usually they all know we are (drumroll please) “The Pastor and His Wife” (gag), and I don’t like that, mainly because people start to act differently. So I try to set the tone right away. I find the people off to the corner secretly smoking and walk over and introduce myself. I make sure to sit next to the designated “atheist” family member and engage in conversations about everything but church. I do what I need to do to establish a connection because isn’t that what Jesus did?

I think we fear “the others” because we don’t want to be associated with the mess. We don’t want to get messy. What will the other Believers think? That I’m condoning the behavior? That I’m participating? Won’t the person I’m with think it’s okay to live a certain way? Don’t I just need to tell them the Truth?

Oh my sweet brothers and sisters. Have we forgotten the Gospel? The Gospels? Where Jesus modeled building relationships and fostering trust? Where Jesus met people right.where.they.are? Where he cared for them and not His own reputation? He didn’t cater to the expectations of the religious. He ministered to the broken. And that’s what I want to do. I’ve lived too long listening to my fear and not to the voice of Jesus. I’ve been more interested in people knowing first off that I don’t agree with their lifestyles before they know I actually love them. I’ve pushed people closer to Hell than to Jesus. And I’m over it.

You want to join me? It’s uncomfortable. I don’t always get it right. But I make sure to always smell like smoke. Cause I think Jesus did too.

Break Free.

Speaking out about your anxiety, depression, or other mental illness is frightening. It’s humiliating. We don’t want to look weak. Or weird. Or crazy. People will look at us funny. Think we are nuts. Put us in a mental hospital. Think we are broken. But aren’t we? Aren’t we all broken? Isn’t that why Jesus Christ died on the cross - because we are so messed up we don’t even know how messed up we are (Jeremiah 17:9)? Ya’ll - It’s time we got a grip. The very thing that keeps people from accepting Jesus as their Savior is keep you from getting the healing you desperately need: Pride. Admitting you need help. You don’t have it all together. And maybe you can readily admit that: “I don’t have it all together.” But what about that insecurity that is crippling you? What about that exhaustion that won’t go away no matter how much you sleep? What about that sadness that keeps creeping in for no reason? What about your thoughts that you can’t quiet down? What about the fear that keeps you awake at night? What about the incessant control you demand to have? What about the people you are sucking dry because of your identity issues? What about your need for perfection that is debilitating you? What about it? Why can’t you face it? Why can’t you speak out about it? Why not?

We have to fight. Listen to me, I’m pleading with you. This isn’t going away. It’s just not. And it’s going to strain your marriage, damage your kids, mess with your job, and leave you lonely. It will eat you alive. I promise I’m not trying to be Debbie Downer here. But we can’t keep thinking these things will deal with themselves. That’s what Satan wants you to believe. But you have to realize he is out to destroy you.

In the world we live in, people say it’s brave to give in to whatever leanings they have. When we give in, we give up the abundant life God promises those who trust Him. We can’t keep giving in to our anxiety, depression, and personality disorders. We have to stand up. That’s where true courage lies: With those who say, “Enough! I am going to stop the cycle. I am going to fight for my spouse, my kids, my job, my friends. I am going to fight so I can be a testament to the grace of Jesus. The power of Jesus. If He can heal me, He can heal you.”

I speak openly about my anxiety, depression, and personality disorder because I want people to know that it isn’t an easy fight, but oh so worth it!!! When I was diagnosed with these mental illnesses several years ago, I was so discouraged. But then my counselor helped me to see how strong Jesus’s grace was in me. He had preserved me from some terrible decisions that could have destroyed my life. And while I battled with suicidal thoughts and nearly dissolved my marriage, God’s unconditional love and forgiveness chased me down until I couldn’t fight Him anymore and I finally surrendered. I surrendered to His love: The Love I was so desperate to feel. He met me face down in the dark. Alone. Scared. Hurting. Desperate. And that’s when Grace took over and healed me. It was a long road. And sometimes still is. But I wouldn’t trade the healing I’ve received from the hand of God for anything.

Why are you living this way? Why so trapped? Why so scared? Why so hindered? Why in such bondage? Break. Free. Jesus wants to heal you, but He opposes the proud. He will fight you if you fight seeking the help you need. The healing only He can provide. So step out in faith. I promise you the freedom you will receive will be worth more than the momentary humiliation you may feel.

Break. Free.

Brokenness

“When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions. Blessed are those you choose and bring near to live in your courts!” 

Psalm 65:3-4

I have a number of close friends and family members that I have seen wrestle with the devastating effects of their sin. I have been privy to the statements, condemnations, judgments, consolations, and even prophecies that have been spoken over their lives. If you have ever lived through a season of “reaping what you have sown” as I have, you know firsthand how quickly the Pharisees come running out of the wood-work bent on making sure you understand that what has just happened must not and cannot ever happen again.

I think my angst comes from this: After a season of about 6 months of living through absolute Hell due to emotional problems and then sinful decisions made to self-medicate those problems, I really didn’t need anyone telling me how bad I was or that these behaviors needed to stop and never happen again. I knew it. O Lord, You know I knew it. I was so broken, so devastated, so utterly ruined by who I had become, I didn’t even recognize my own reflection in the mirror. I was terrified. And it was in one moment, face down on the floor of our bedroom, that I just called out to God from the depths of my heart. Even typing this is making me emotional. I told Him I was nothing. I had nothing. And if He was real, if He truly was my Savior, then the only way I was ever going to go on living was to be reminded in that moment that He could heal me. And I’m not lying to you when I say that I heard Jesus Christ whisper His love to me. Right then. Right there. And I was never the same.

See, I think that’s what true brokenness is - When our sin is so devastating to us that nothing more surprises us. And when all we have to cling to in those moments is the fact that He loves us. In the past I could’ve made myself feel better by listing my spiritual accomplishments, or those I had discipled, or the many ways in which I was serving. But God broke me down day after day for about a year where I literally was stripped spiritually and emotionally bare before Him and others. Yes, my clinical depression and anxiety, my emotional issues, my sin, was exposed to others. Never before had that been the case. However, my humiliation pushed me to the cross. Quite literally, that’s all I had. I had Jesus. And if He didn’t come through for me in that moment on the floor, then I am not sure what would have happened next.

I believe brokenness looks different for each of us but one thing is the same for all of us: When God truly strips you bare and leaves you face down before Him wherever that is, you know. You know He has just revealed the depths of your sinful heart to you. And you know that you will never understand the Gospel and it’s life-altering ramifications better than you do in that moment. And you will never interact with Him the same again because you quite literally have nothing more or left to prove. There is a freedom that comes from true brokenness. A freedom that is often misinterpreted. But a freedom that I will defend the rest of my life.

Our church, Centerpoint Church, ministers to hundreds of broken people every week. And I am here to tell you that we celebrate Prodigals coming home every week. I won’t lie: Sometimes it is hard not to want to put them on some sort of probation to prove their true repentance. But all I can do is to remember my story and the fact that the Father came running to me when I was most helpless: Facedown in our dark bedroom. Unable to offer or prove anything. And He changed the trajectory of my life. When we stop trying to prove to God why He shouldn’t love us and just determine to accept His uncoditional love, grace and forgiveness for us, He does a miracle. And it may look to outsiders like He is letting us off the hook. All I can say, we know otherwise. And that truth saved and sustains our lives.

Just a Season

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."

- Ecclesiastes 3:1

Just a season. This too shall pass.

I am going to tell you, some days I cling to those 7 powerful words. Don't you? Some seasons in our lives just suck. There's no other way to put it.

• You are struggling with grades, friends, identity, you name it - in high school. Yeah. Those four years are rough. Awful sometimes. It's a season. Hang in there. I promise, the best is yet to come. Dig your roots down deep in your youth group. If you don't have one, find one. Probably some of the most influential people in my life were my mentors in high school. They don't know it, but I think of them often and remember that during that time, they were my lifelines.
• You are 21 and still single. Seems like a lifetime, doesn't it? Been there. In fact, I was 23 when I met Bryant (or 24...I can't remember and I am terrible at simple math). When I graduated from college, I had only had one official boyfriend (a few "going steadies" in between) and most of my friends were already married with a child and number two on the way. No lie. I felt like the Apostle Paul: I had the gift of celibacy. When I moved to Florida, I was so lonely at times. I second guessed my personality, looks, you name it. And what's funny? I was only 23. If you are in this boat, I am not patronizing you. I get it. But it's a season. Just a season. Fill your single years with as much as you can. Start pursuing your dreams. Take a chance. I moved down to Florida from New York and took a job at a respectable school when I was only 22 and after a pretty severe breakup. I was scared to death. Best decision I made. Cause then I met Bryant...on a blind date...and the rest is history :)
• You are recently married and facing marital trouble. Been there. Our first year was no picnic. And don't roll your eyes at me! When we actually start telling our story, you will probably be shocked. It was awful. But it was a season. We sought counselling, experienced real healing, and I'm going to be honest, I understood the ramifications of the Gospel during that season more than any other time in my life. It was the most sanctifying, healing, horrifying, exhilarating time in our lives. And our marriage is strong and healthy now as a result. A season.
• You were diagnosed with clinical depression or some sort of personality disorder and/or anxiety disorder. Been there. I was diagnosed with clinical depression shortly after we got married (hence some of our difficulties). That's when I jumped head first into counselling. Yes, I was embarrassed by the label. I hated it. But it forced me - I mean absolutely demanded - into the grace, love, and unconditional forgiveness of Christ. My depression still beats me up. But it's just a season. I know during those times to reach out to my closest friends for prayer. I speak honestly with Bryant. And I schedule a counseling appointment. Yes, even after four years, I still see my counselor. It's a season.
• You have a newborn. Need I say more? Listen, it's a season. Now he/she is a toddler. It's a season. I so appreciate Instagram right now. You know why? I have some honest mommy friends who share their real stories of frustration, pain, exhaustion, excitement, and happiness through pictures. I don't feel so alone. And we can be praying for each other and encouraging each other that this is just a season. One day, when we are 50 and empty-nesters, we are going to miss these days. Sometimes I don't believe that, but I take the word of my more "seasoned" friends :). Hang in there mommy and daddy. Soak in those precious moments. Laugh at the aggravating ones. It's a season.
• You are divorced or have faced (are facing) some sort of loss. My dear, dear brother or sister...It's a season. Please do not think for a moment that God has abandoned you. That's what Satan wants you to think. He wants to destroy your life and the fastest way to do that is to isolate you from your Heavenly Father who probably doesn't seem that loving right now. This is cliche, but grasp a hold of His promises from the Word of God: His mercies are new every morning. He's never going to leave or forsake you. He wants to give you abundant life. Find some friends who can have faith for you during this time. Hurt. Bleed. But then cling. Cling to Him. It's just a season.

You were diagnosed with cancer. You've just moved for the hundredth time. You have trouble making and keeping friends. You have to pull away from a person who is doing you and your family some harm. You lost your job. You quit your job. You can't make ends meet. You are making more than you ever have. Seasons. These are all seasons. I have friends in almost every one of these categories. Dear friends. Friends that I hate seeing hurt. Friends that feel so alone. And all I can say, dear one, is that God is with you. He knows. 

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Exodus 2:25. The Israelites were experiencing brutal slavery and felt like God was no where to be found. But this verse says so eloquently:

God saw what was going on with Israel.

God understood.

So I leave you with this...not a theological argument for God's presence, not a ton of Scripture for you to memorize, not another Bible study or list of things to do. Just this: God sees. God knows. God understands. God's with you. It's just a season. Hang in there dear friend.

"There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity

under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal, 

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a t time to search and a a time to give up,

at time to keep and time to throw away,

at time to tear and time to mend,

at time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a t time to war and a a time for peace."

- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Immanuel

Christmas. For some of us, this season fills us with childlike joy and excitement. The lights, parties, decorations, cookies, presents, family members…everything about Christmas energizes us and leaves us counting down the months until December. Maybe we don’t even wait until December…maybe we deck our halls in November. Heck, some of us wish we worked in Christmas Shops so we never had to go without the holiday!

And for the rest of us, this season is a stark reminder of all the ways we have failed and the fact that we are alone. Whether we have lost a family member, been harshly separated from one, or feel as though we have failed our families, we would rather close our eyes and fast-forward through this holiday that seems to be a vain attempt to mask the pain for a month. Reality sets in thirty days later reminding us of our failures and aloneness.

But maybe we have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. Sure, you’ve heard that before, haven’t you? “Let’s remember the reason for the season!” “Keep CHRIST in CHRISTmas!” We put up the nativity scenes, we read through Luke 2, we tell our children this is Jesus’ birthday, we say “Merry CHRISTmas!” and not “Happy Holidays!”. But has it all become so rote that we truly miss out on one of the most fundamental crux’s to our faith? Have our traditions and catchy phrases numbed us to something more?

Isaiah 9:6 says, “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

Go back in time with me…stand from afar and watch as Mary, who is full term now, tries to find a comfortable position on the donkey while she fights her contractions. You can see the pain written across her face. But this isn’t just the pain from the contractions…she has been ridiculed, doubted, and abandoned by her community due to this pregnancy. She’s young…under 20 years of age young. Get a glimpse of her thoughts…what kind of delivery will this be? What does a baby conceived by the Holy Spirit look like? Will Joseph be able to love this boy? Does he still love me because he wants to or because he has to now? Will we be good parents?

Watch Joseph’s face as he frantically looks for the smoothest part of the dusty dirt road while at the same time hopelessly searching for a suitable location for Mary to deliver. The past ten months have been nothing short of Hell for his reputation. But he loved Mary…he believed God…and he would love and raise this boy as well. He made his mind up months ago and he was determined to stay to the course.

Now, come with me into the stable, the most unlikely maternity ward. Listen to Mary scream as she starts to push. Hear Joseph console her. Watch as their son enters the world a takes his first breath. Joseph, an unfit midwife, runs to get water and whatever clean linens he can find. Mary, relieved the worse is over, takes a deep breath and clings to her son.

Do you see the look in her eyes as she stares at him for the first time? She knows that the baby she is holding was conceived by the Holy Spirit. She was told He was the Son of God, that He would save His people from their sins, that He, this tiny life whose fingers were wrapped around her one finger, whose very existence was dependent on her now, that He would be called “Immanuel, which means, God with us.”

Joseph runs back into stable with little pieces of cloth he got from the Inn next door…these linens were probably dish rags. No matter. He needed something with which to clean his son and make sure he was warm. His son. Funny how everything changes when you see that little person for the first time. This was his baby. Held by his wife. The ridicule and embarrassment seemed nothing to Joseph now.

He catches Mary’s eye and they both freeze. The enormity of what just happened is beginning to sink in. They can’t speak, because neither of them have the words. They don’t really know how this all happened, or what they are supposed to do now, or what their future is going to look like. All they know is that they have each other and this precious life, “Immanuel, God with us.” God with them.

Over the next 33 years, Mary would watch the most fascinating life that ever walked the face of the earth. She would see Him change water into wine, heal blind men, raise people from the dead, cast out demons, and feed thousands. She would watch as He graciously interacted with prostitutes, tax collectors, sinners, and lepers. She would hear Him condemn the righteous and religious. And then, she would see Him nailed to a cross. The same person she held in her arms that night in a stable, would have His arms outstretched on a Roman cross. Was this how it was supposed to end? This wasn’t what she signed up for. She thought the Messiah would come and establish His Kingdom. She thought she would be spared from heartache. What was God doing? Was she missing something? She had lost everything for Him. Her reputation, her family, her peace of mind…and now for what? How could God do this to her? How could He do this to her?

And then…three days later…everything changed.

Three days later, Mary saw her son. Oh, but He was no longer her son. No, now He was her Savior. And everything made sense. Her confusion, her pain, her aloneness, her isolation…all of it culminated in the moment she saw Him alive. She got it. She understood why her son, the Messiah, had to die.

So He could offer scandalous grace to those who do not deserve it. To those who truly believe they are too broken, too dirty, too wayward, too unreligious, too unworthy, too unacceptable.

To those who think God could never love them, Jesus Christ is God with Us and proved otherwise. Jesus Christ is the living proof that God desperately wants a relationship with you…with me.

But we fight Him. We fight the Savior of the world. We would rather try to convince Him that we aren’t worth it, while He holds open His outstretched, pierced hands and claims otherwise.

What are you waiting for? Why not give in to a love that has the power to heal you at your depths. Why not surrender to a peace that calms the raging storms within you. Why not?

What do you need this Christmas? I guess the better question is: Who do you need this Christmas? Do you need someone to guide you through a new season, someone to give you answers to the tough questions ahead, someone to tell you how to handle that difficult situation? Then you need a Wonderful Counselor.

Do you nee a miracle? Do you need strength to face another day? Are you not sure how to get around the obstacles in your path? You need a Mighty God.

Do you need to feel safe and secure again? Do you need a protector, a comforter, and encourager? Do you need to feel loved and unconditionally accepted? Then you need an Everlasting Father.

Maybe you need a Savior. Maybe you are at the end of your rope…you know there is a God, but you have no idea how to interact with Him or why He would even want to be with you. All you know is that this can’t be all there is to life. You are drowning in darkness and you see no escape. You need a Prince of Peace.

Jesus Christ came to earth as a baby, lived a perfect life, and died on the cross for YOU. He died because He wants a relationship with YOU and the only way to make that happen is to pay for your sins once and for all. He proved He was capable of that when He rose from the dead three days later. Call out to Him. Tell Him you believe! Tell Him He is your Savior. It is that easy! And rest in the presence of Immanuel, God with Us.

Getting Grace

Forgiveness. Grace. Salvation. Freedom. Security...

These words have been floating around in my head for a while now. God has recently brought me through circumstances where I have had to accept His forgiveness and grace and also extend this forgiveness and grace to other people. I have come to realize that what everyone says is true: if I do not believe I am forgiven and loved by God, I will not be able to forgive and love other people. If I only have head knowledge of the forgiveness and grace (I know the verses) and don't actually believe and experience them (live them), then I am just as skrewed (I sat and tried to think of another way to put that, but I couldn't. Sorry).

I can't get past this thought: When I accepted Jesus as my Savior at four years old, I really didn't grasp His forgiveness and grace. I mean, c'mon...I was four and the worse thing I had done is lie about my ruffle underwear (look to previous posts for that story). I knew I was going to Hell and instead wanted to spend eternity with Jesus (just a word here to all of my fundamental legalists: those who say that if someone's main concern at his/her time of Salvation is just to escape Hell may not truly be saved, get over yourselves and read the Bible. Jesus spoke four times more about Hell then Heaven and so obviously wanted people to realize the severity of it in hopes that they would not want to go there. It is people like you who made me terrified for years that I may not be saved when I most certainly am. Thanks). Anyways... :)

While I am thankful that I accepted Jesus as my Savior at a young age, I had a head knowledge of God's grace, but not the experimental knowledge. I grew up thinking that I was "okay" because I had not committed any of the "really bad sins". However, when I got into college and my young adult years, I began to realize that when I failed, and failed miserably, I had a hard time accepting the fact that I truly was forgiven and already had God's favor and so didn't need to live defeated and/or in fear. But isn't that the Gospel? I am so excited because I feel like for the first time in my life, I am beginning to understand and experience the Good News of Salvation...God's grace covers my sin! I am free to live the abundant life and don't need to walk around ashamed or trying to prove myself to God. He loves me and values me as much as He does Jesus Christ.

And this knowledge frees me to forgive and to shower undeserved, unconditional grace on others. The following excerpt comes from Chuck Swindoll (I am a big fan) and applies to our receiving God's forgiveness and grace and then overflowing them onto others.

Amazing, isn't it, how Joseph's acts of grace freed up everyone around the tables. At the outset, there were feelings of anxiety and dread as guilt held them in its grip. Their fear had known no bounds as they returned to Egypt, wondering what they would face.

Within a brief span of time, they found themselves treated kindly, sitting around a banquet table loaded with food, and, of all things, relaxing in the joyful presence of royalty. What relief! Better than that, what grace! They were the recipients of favor they hadn't earned and kindness they didn't deserve. And they were overloaded with an abundance of provisions they could never repay. Is anyone surprised they were astonished and no longer afraid? Their fear was now displaced by grace. Why? One reason---Joseph. This great man, though not as yet known to them to be their brother, determined to forgive their mistreatment and, instead, demonstrate great grace. Rather than remind them of their wrongs and force them to pay for their cruelty and injustices from years gone by, he showed them favor to the maximum extreme. This reunion was really a banquet of grace---on full display---thanks to Joseph, a man of integrity and forgiveness. 

Lord, make me a woman of integrity and forgiveness. Amen.