Your Good Life is Trash

So I really wanted to take a nap (honesty), but my blogs come in bursts of angsts and I just had one. So here we go :)

My friend just texted me a few minutes ago. She was wrestling with the fact that she just told "her" story and is now paranoid that "her" story is going to ruin "her" reputation.

(Really quick rabbit trail: Your story is your story. Own it! Just as Paul owned and shared about his thorn in the flesh, so should you when God says it's time!!! Your thorn, your story, is the dark backdrop that illuminates the scandalous grace of Jesus! Preach it! If you don't have a dark backdrop, then you can't share about Jesus's grace because it has nothing to stand in contrast to and you've missed the Gospel.)

Here was my response:

You will always feel a little exposed. Even now when I talk about [my story] at times, I feel exposed because mental illness [or whatever your story is - mine just so happens to include mental illness] is just so personal. And that's why no one talks about it. There will always be a stigma. So whenever you share, you will either free people up or cause people to look at you funny. You just have to decide which is more important to you: Their freedom or your reputation. But no one can take your character and these struggles are what are making you into the wonderful woman that you are! So own them! But also remember that there is no rush to share everything at once. Go at your own pace. Share as much as you are ready to share. But you are NOT crazy. You are brave and courageous for facing these struggles and you are going to be FREE! You will learn through this whole process that the only opinion that matters is God's. That sounds so cliche - but it's true! And He has already declared you HIS - you are LOVED, ACCEPTED, WORTHY, SECURE. There is a verse in Psalms that says HE is the lifter of our heads. I love that verse!!! You can live with your head lifted high because HE is your HEALER! We all have a lot of crazy but we want to mask it. It's the difference between living free and living in bondage. The most free people are those who don't hide their depravity and as a result can celebrate the absolute and extravagant goodness of the Gospel.And that right there triggers my angst: The people who cannot (will not) face their own depravity, their own failures, their own shortcomings because I truly believe they will fall to pieces. Their perceived "good" reputation is the glue that is holding them together emotionally and if that glue ever disintegrates, they won't know who they are anymore.

I just read this in Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman:

Good [people] can depend on their good reputation to meet their desperate need for love.

Dang.

Our good reputations are our identities. It's what we are known for...good parenting, good kids, good disciplines, good behavior, good grades, good choices, good marriage, good clothes, good ministry, good church, good house, good job, good car, good vacations, good college, good work ethic, good friends, good ____________. We are good. And if we cease to be "good", we cease to be us. So when our "goodness" is challenged, it can NEVER be our fault because then we are no longer good. Yikes. Do you see how dangerous this is? Scripture screams at us in Romans 3 that "There’s nobody living right, not even one" (The Message). And we say we believe that. But when was the last time you were brutally, uncomfortably, irrationally, absolutely nothing-to-lose honest? When? Like willing to be told you were wrong, have been wrong, were never right honest?

Ya'll, your "good" reputation is going to keep you living in bondage. It will isolate you. You will never be able to be fully and completely known because you won't want anyone getting too close and potentially seeing that you aren't good. But NO ONE IS GOOD. Nope.

If you are getting nervous thinking I am saying to flaunt your sin, then you are who this blog is written to (and Romans 6, 7, and 8 - I guess Paul and I share the same angst). Yes you, my love. And bless your heart. Be free! Own your freakin train-wreck of a life because then and only then can you be healed and free and then and only then can you love like Jesus loved! And then and only then can you live the life He calls us to live!

See, if you are obsessed with goodness, then that's all you are going to expect from yourself and from other people. And instead of sin and failure pushing you to the cross, it is going to push you further away because you will feel the pressure to "fix it" yourself. You are a PR dream come true, but a Gospel nightmare. And that's miserable. Because Jeremiah 17:9 says we are incapable of being good. And Isaiah says our goodness is filthy. So you are preaching a works based Salvation and Sanctification. You will live an up-tight, fear-driven life because of the fact that you have never experienced the scandalous love, acceptance, grace and forgiveness of Jesus even though you claim to have.

If we could only see ourselves as Christ does. Then we could live as Christ lived. But we can't. And so we don't. And we perpetuate that sad cycle of living to the next generation. And people are leaving the church faster than they are coming. And I don't blame them.

Oh, that is my angst. That we would embrace Honesty. Vulnerability. Gospel preaching, grace living, help me Jesus screaming lives. Cause that's what He expects. Not my goodness. No. Never that. But my utter and complete brokenness smothered in His perfect life. Only that. Cause only when I can stop hiding behind my goodness can He live His life through me.

But You, Oh LORD, are a Shield about me, my glory and the Lifter of My Head. Psalm 3:3 (ESV)

Brokenness

“When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions. Blessed are those you choose and bring near to live in your courts!” 

Psalm 65:3-4

I have a number of close friends and family members that I have seen wrestle with the devastating effects of their sin. I have been privy to the statements, condemnations, judgments, consolations, and even prophecies that have been spoken over their lives. If you have ever lived through a season of “reaping what you have sown” as I have, you know firsthand how quickly the Pharisees come running out of the wood-work bent on making sure you understand that what has just happened must not and cannot ever happen again.

I think my angst comes from this: After a season of about 6 months of living through absolute Hell due to emotional problems and then sinful decisions made to self-medicate those problems, I really didn’t need anyone telling me how bad I was or that these behaviors needed to stop and never happen again. I knew it. O Lord, You know I knew it. I was so broken, so devastated, so utterly ruined by who I had become, I didn’t even recognize my own reflection in the mirror. I was terrified. And it was in one moment, face down on the floor of our bedroom, that I just called out to God from the depths of my heart. Even typing this is making me emotional. I told Him I was nothing. I had nothing. And if He was real, if He truly was my Savior, then the only way I was ever going to go on living was to be reminded in that moment that He could heal me. And I’m not lying to you when I say that I heard Jesus Christ whisper His love to me. Right then. Right there. And I was never the same.

See, I think that’s what true brokenness is - When our sin is so devastating to us that nothing more surprises us. And when all we have to cling to in those moments is the fact that He loves us. In the past I could’ve made myself feel better by listing my spiritual accomplishments, or those I had discipled, or the many ways in which I was serving. But God broke me down day after day for about a year where I literally was stripped spiritually and emotionally bare before Him and others. Yes, my clinical depression and anxiety, my emotional issues, my sin, was exposed to others. Never before had that been the case. However, my humiliation pushed me to the cross. Quite literally, that’s all I had. I had Jesus. And if He didn’t come through for me in that moment on the floor, then I am not sure what would have happened next.

I believe brokenness looks different for each of us but one thing is the same for all of us: When God truly strips you bare and leaves you face down before Him wherever that is, you know. You know He has just revealed the depths of your sinful heart to you. And you know that you will never understand the Gospel and it’s life-altering ramifications better than you do in that moment. And you will never interact with Him the same again because you quite literally have nothing more or left to prove. There is a freedom that comes from true brokenness. A freedom that is often misinterpreted. But a freedom that I will defend the rest of my life.

Our church, Centerpoint Church, ministers to hundreds of broken people every week. And I am here to tell you that we celebrate Prodigals coming home every week. I won’t lie: Sometimes it is hard not to want to put them on some sort of probation to prove their true repentance. But all I can do is to remember my story and the fact that the Father came running to me when I was most helpless: Facedown in our dark bedroom. Unable to offer or prove anything. And He changed the trajectory of my life. When we stop trying to prove to God why He shouldn’t love us and just determine to accept His uncoditional love, grace and forgiveness for us, He does a miracle. And it may look to outsiders like He is letting us off the hook. All I can say, we know otherwise. And that truth saved and sustains our lives.

Crowd Participation

So I need some crowd participation...Read the following two question "Quiz" (I would've called it "Questionnaire", but I am a teacher..."Quiz" is much more up my alley) and then leave your answers and thoughts in the "Comments" box. FYI...I am not looking for the "right" answers. I am looking for honest answers. How you answer the next two questions will tell you everything you need to know about your relationship with God. I never knew the power of these questions until I was forced to face and to answer them myself. Humble yourself...be vulnerable...and then watch God work.

Ready? Okay...

What do you believe God thinks about you?
a. I am simply a sinner saved by grace.
b. He loves me because He has to, but I am more of a disappointment to Him than anything else.
c. He is constantly frustrated with me because I can't get it right.
d. He loves me unconditionally, accepts me, and views me as He views His Son, Jesus.
e. Other (you tell me).

The following would describe my relationship with God:
a. I am working really hard to make Him proud of me.
b. I am constantly searching my heart looking for anything that could interrupt fellowship with God and cause Him to need to punish me.
c. I am resting in His grace.
d. I am trying to prove to Him that I am good enough for Him to love.
e. I am working really hard to be godly, because after all, isn't that the way I thank Him for sending His Son to die for me?

Go ahead...leave me a comment. Let me know. Don't give me the "This is what the Bible says but I don't believe it" answer. Give me your honest, gut level thoughts.

I'll go first...

The answer to the first question would have been "a" and "c". Answer to the second question: "b", "d", and "e".

Don't Ask for Forgiveness

I am reading Grace Walk by Steve McVey and it is tearing me up...in an awesome way! Today, he was explaining the story of the Prodigal Son and he says this: "I used to believe that this parable was a lesson on forgiveness; but studying it from a grace perspective makes its meaning clear. It's not about forgiveness, but about acceptance."

McVey goes on to explain that the Prodigal felt unworthy because of his rebellious, sinful behavior. He figured his father would only be interested in having his son back as a servant. However, "the story clearly demonstrates that the father had already forgiven him and was ready to fully accept him when he returned home."

We have misrepresented God's forgiveness. When Jesus Christ died on the cross for my sins 2000 years ago, all of my sins were future...right? Let me help you out here...YES! I am only 26. "God didn't deposit forgiveness into an account with my name on it so that I can make forgiveness withdrawals when I need it. When I was born again, He emptied the entire forgiveness account on me! My debt was paid in full!"

And the same is true for you!

1 John 1:9 has been misinterpreted. The word that we have translated as "forgiveness" was "confession" in the original Greek, which means "to agree with". Let me boil this down for you: When you sin, you don't need to ask for forgiveness. Biblically, God has already forgiven you (Jesus died for your sins: past, present, future). Confession means that you "acknowledge the foolishness of disobedience to the Father and then praise Him that you are already forgiven and accepted by Him."

For years I believed that when I sinned, I had to ask forgiveness from God, otherwise a breach would remain in our relationship because He was not happy with me and wouldn't be happy until I realized my sin and cleansed myself of my sin. Do you see how opposed to grace this belief system is? "If Satan can cause you to feel that God doesn't accept you because of bad behavior, he can keep you [far away from God] for a longer time." And this happened to me. I got Galatians 5:16 reversed. I thought I had to clean myself up before I could walk in the Spirit. So, I would stay focused on my sin...doing deep personal analyzation, trying to cleanse myself of my sin by staring it in the face. Only years later did I realize that I was "setting my mind on the flesh, which is death" (Romans 8:6). Freedom from sin does not happen by obsessively thinking and willing myself free...it comes from choosing to believe I am accepted, forgiven, and righteous before God. He loves me, wants me, and pursues me. I can enjoy Him. I can walk in the Spirit and as I do, He will do His work in me. I do nothing. How awesome!

With God, my behavior does not determine my identity. He has already declared my identity is Jesus Christ. I will choose to believe that and as a result, live in victory. Or, I will choose to continue to believe I am just a sinner saved by grace and destined to struggle with sin the rest of my life. The only problem is, "God never intended for the Christian life to be a struggle."

Jason Gray has an amazing song entitled, "I am New". I will leave you with the lyrics.

Now I won't deny
The worst you could say about me
But I'm not defined
By mistakes that I've made
Because God says of me

I am not who I was
I am being remade
I am new
I am chosen and holy
And I'm dearly loved
I am new

Who I thought I was
And who I thought I had to be
I had to give them both up
Cause neither were willing
To ever believe

I am not who I was

Too long I have lived
In the shadows of shame
Believing that there
Was no way I could change
But the one who is making everything new
Doesn't see me the way that I do
He doesn't see me the way that I do

I am new
Dead to the old man

I'm coming alive
I am new

Forgiven beloved
Hidden in Christ
Made in the image of the Giver of Life
Righteous and holy
Reborn and remade
Accepted and worthy this is our new name

This is who we are now...

Jesus Loves Judas 2

This comment was left under my “Jesus Loves Judas” blog and so I wanted to address it:

I'd love to hear your thoughts on a slightly broader or perhaps different context as to how we should biblically interact with those who seek to do damage to the gospel without purposefully shunning them. Considering the parenthetical statements above and adding in some of the language and actions the apostles used against the likes of the Judaizers and Gnostics.

Honestly, my answer is pretty simple. The only people that Jesus and the Apostles vehemently opposed and called out were religious hypocrites who were taking open advantage of those around them. They never “shunned” them, however. That would have been cowardly.

When Jesus came into the world, He disrupted hundreds of years of Judaism. He is the fulfillment of the Law, but for the majority of the religious leaders, He was the competition. They didn’t want to lose the control that the Law enabled them to have over the people. Jesus was never about control, He was always about grace.

Think about it. When Jesus interacted with Nicodemus and the Rich Young Ruler, he was meek because he knew they were genuinely searching. When Paul was at Mars Hill and interacting with the philosophers, he debated with them, but he did not call them out like he did the Judaizers (fancy term for religious leaders) in his Epistles. What’s the difference? The Mars Hills guys were searching (see a theme emerging?); the religious leaders were out to make money, gain a following, and disrupt whatever stood in their way. Did Jesus and Paul shun either group? Nope. Did they call out the religious leaders? Yep. They never avoided the religious leaders. Jesus and Paul weren’t cowards. They preached grace to those who were searching and defended grace from those who were manipulating.

Paul was a little more aggressive in his letters towards the Judaizers. I think he was for a couple of reasons:

1.   He wasn’t around to shepherd the new converts and many of the Elders of the churches were new believers too. They were still so young in the faith and easily swayed that I think he wanted to make a point to the believers to be on guard. Additionally, he wanted to warn those who were teaching false doctrine that they would be under strict condemnation (Jesus did this too: “The Woes”).

2.   We have to be careful here though…Paul was not confronting the Judaizers because they had differing preferences, they had a different gospel. And the Judaizers didn’t just agree to disagree; they actively went after the baby believers because they were bitter at Jesus and the Apostles for stealing “their crowd”. So, yes, Paul had to be more aggressive. Rightfully so. But he didn’t shun. He boldly confronted the group with the Gospel.

What do we do? We are wise as serpents but gentle as doves. To shun someone who is openly attacking the Gospel is to give them permission and the leeway to sway someone from the Truth. We need to defend the Gospel; but we ask God for discernment as to when and how. When we interact with people who are searching, we are gentle, understanding. When we realize that someone is openly doing harm to the Gospel for their own benefit (this is not hard to spot most of the time), we call them out like Jesus and Paul did. But again, we have to be careful. An unbeliever is obviously not going to agree with us and is not going to buy into the Gospel right away. I am not sure why “Gnostics” is in the above question…honestly, I only see Jesus and the Apostles calling out the “religious” people…I don’t see them going after those who just don’t believe. We have so turned the world off to the Gospel because for some reason, we expect unbelievers to act like believers and to support everything the Bible says. Unsaved people aren’t going to do that…why would they (that’s for another blog)? So, yes…call out someone who is doing harm to the Gospel. However, your methods will differ depending on the situation. What should you do? Look to Jesus. He had differing methods for handling each person and each situation and was yet was the most consistent Man Who ever walked the face of the Earth.

Jesus Loves Judas.

Approval and Acceptance. Many people think they know what these two words mean and therefore how to apply them…but they are sorely mistaken.

I am so burdened by how we as believers treat our brothers and sisters in Christ who sin, or maybe who don’t even sin but have different preferences than us (A preference is something you would prefer to do or not to do, but it is not a life or death issue. Please tell me you wouldn’t choose to die if someone held a gun to your head and asked you to have a sip of wine). That’s were our approval and acceptance begins: with our preferences. If someone has the same preferences as us, we approve of their beliefs and behavior and we accept them. If we disagree with his/her preferences, we make our disapproval VERY clear and even withhold our acceptance (most people would never admit to this, but it is happening over and over again…especially in ministry homes). Our paranoia of sin has caused us to overreact and to alienate ourselves from people who don’t have the same preferences as us, even if “those people” are our own children. We want to make it clear that we don’t agree with what the other person is choosing to do (manipulation), because we are afraid that this particular thing could lead to other issues (this “thing” could be drinking, dating, tattoos, piercings, etc).  In order to make our disapproval clear, we first confront the person. If he/she doesn’t “repent” (and I use that word loosely because, while yes, some have sinned and need to repent, others are simply choosing to do certain things that are not forbidden by Scripture), then the disapproving person goes to the next level: Shunning. This shunning could be little to no communication or just obvious signs that the disapprover is upset and not willing to restore the relationship. Unfortunately, the shunned feels the lack of approval and ultimately lack of acceptance. We call this rejection. And rejection does crazy things to people. Rejection can lead to the “issues” that the disapproving person was trying to keep the shunned from in the first place. So in essence, the disapproving person, through choices of his/her own, has really been the catalyst of the shunned to make sinful choices.

Please understand I am not trying to pass the blame. We as individual people make our own decisions. We are responsible for the choices we make and no one else. However, does that mean that our choices are not ever spurred on by an outside force? No.

We all have unhealed hurts, unresolved issues, and unmet needs that we try to heal, resolve and meet. Sadly, we often self-medicate and turn to alternative methods (sin) to do so. Many times, these hurts, issues and needs come at the hands of someone we have disappointed. The disappointment was communicated in the form of rejection. And rejection wounds deeply.

Jesus NEVER manipulated people with rejection (that is ultimately what rejection is: manipulation). I was thinking about that this morning. Read John 4. Look how he interacted with the Samaritan woman who wasn’t just living with different preferences than Jesus, she was living in sin. And what does He do? Well, look at how she responds to Him. She so senses his love and forgiveness she runs into the town and unashamedly says, “Come and meet the man who has told me everything I have ever done!” Wow! That is some real freedom. Now, Jesus does confront her sin. Obviously. But, he loves her in spite of her sin, and treats her kindly and with respect, never allowing her to feel rejected. She knows what she is doing is wrong; she doesn’t need a sermon on her decision making. That is why Jesus doesn’t even touch on her lifestyle until she brings it up. He addresses her heart: The fact that she needed some serious spiritual and emotional healing. She didn’t need to be shunned to figure out that she was wrong. She knew that. She needed loving correction and that is what Jesus was about. LOVING. Teaching. Not rejection. Not yelling. Not shunning. There is a difference.

Then, think about the fact that Jesus, Who is God and omniscient, asked JUDAS ISCARIOT to be His disciple. He knew Judas was a traitor. He knew Judas would willingly be possessed by Satan. And yet, He still wanted Judas on His team. He never treated Judas differently, even when He knew Judas was stealing money from the poor while a disciple (John 12:4-8). Here is the ironic thing: Jesus NEVER confronted Judas on the stealing. He did prophesy that Judas would betray Him, but none of the other disciples put two and two together. The implication is Jesus NEVER treated Judas differently. The other disciples had no idea. WOW.

Please catch my drift. Confront sin. But love. Be gracious. If a brother or sister in Christ is in sin, don’t disown him/her and don’t make your actions and your statements communicate rejection. Please, be Jesus to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Don’t be a catalyst for self-medication.

Loving Jesus Means Hating Myself, Right?

No. In fact, the godliest thing you can do is to love yourself (shocking, but keep reading - I explain what I mean further down). However, we have been taught that true humility means not loving ourselves and we view self-esteem as a humanistic worldview issue. Hence, we (some of our churches and ministries) have produced a number of individuals who link their value to how well they follow the rules and the subsequent praise and reassurance they receive as a result. Think about that for a second. We are communicating that a person's worth is based on what they do, not on who they are. Isn't that completely contrary to the message of the Gospel?

You see, legalism, or religious rule following, has produced a number of fear induced, highly insecure, emotionally unhealthy people. They have never been taught to get to know and to like themselves; they have been afraid to explore who they really are (warning: I mean this word healthily – getting to know their own likes/dislikes, etc). They have not been praised for thinking and being their own persons, but for staying in bounds.

A note on legalism: Legalism is a control issue. Legalists want control and are happy with you when you listen and do what they say. They are unhappy with you when you don’t listen and do what they say. They control you by manipulatively and subconsciously attaching your self worth with their acceptance and approval. However, they only approve when you perform appropriately. Hence, they disapprove and you feel unacceptable when you don’t perform appropriately. So, you are conditioned to do what is asked and never to become your own person. You begin to believe that your value is dependent on what you do, not on who you are (or what Jesus Christ thinks of you). Harsh, but true. 

What if you have no idea what “legalism” means and did not grow up in a ministry and/or religious home? Well, were you constantly compared to an older, very successful sibling? Did your parents have exceptional standards for you to live up to in the area of athletics, drama, art, music, academics, looks, and friends? If so, then in essence, your parents only acted like they loved you and therefore praised you when you achieved THEIR standards of approval. Legalism.

Now you are an adult and don’t know who you really are, what to really think (not to mention how to think), and you have very few emotionally healthy relationships. You don't value yourself because you don't understand how much you are valued...by God. You are looking for verification from everything and everyone else. You want to know you are okay because you don't feel okay. And you are...because of Jesus Christ and His grace.

God values you as much as He values Jesus. You are a part of the family of God.  Why would you want to spit in His face by disliking yourself – the very person HE made in an incredibly intimate, detailed way?
Why are you trying to prove that you are worthy of His love and everyone else's acceptance? Ultimately, deep down, you are afraid you are not good enough. Psalm 139 says you are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Furthermore, you are “to love your neighbor as yourself” according to Mark 12:31. In fact, loving your neighbor as yourself is the second greatest commandment (per Jesus)! Honestly, most of us do apply this verse to our daily lives, however unbiblically. We don’t like ourselves, so we don’t like anyone else, or very few people. Have you ever thought of that? You may be struggling relationally because you don’t like yourself. So, if someone treats you well and likes you, you are reassured you are okay and you like yourself. Moreover, you are desperate for a “following”, a clone system, because if people are just like you, then your worth is confirmed. Hence, we have thwarted the definition of discipleship to fill our own emotionally unhealthy needs.

If someone doesn’t’ like you, you feel horrible about yourself and have a pity-party (and those look different for everybody: sarcastic cynicism, anger, resentment, blame, etc). You write the person off and never give the opportunity for restitution.

The healthiest thing you can do is to love yourself – and let me clarify what I mean: Realize you have value and are valued by the God of the Universe. He equates you to His Son. Pretty powerful stuff, huh? You don't need people to reassure you that you are okay. You don't need praise to pump you up with confidence. You are self-assured because the Holy Self (the Holy Spirit) lives in you. You have Christ's life!

Practically, keep a list of those things you like and dislike. Take care of your body and glorify God for how you look and feel. Appreciate your quirks – don’t take yourself seriously. I don’t mean be critically humorous, but enjoy yourself. As you are sure of who you are, you will not waste energy trying to protect and prove yourself. You will be able to love others biblically: Regardless of how they love you, because you are resting in the unconditional, unmerited love of God for you.

Bikinis in Church

A Tribute to My Husband and My Church

I did not grow up as a PK (Pastor’s Kid)…so I had no idea what “church politics” was all about until I entered the “church world” as a PW (Pastor’s Wife). My husband launched CC (Centerpoint Church) as an “alternative to church as usual”. Bryant’s dream was to create a church based solely on Jesus Christ and to remove all the distractions that have hurt, hindered, and kept people from church. In other words, he wanted a New Testament Church (read Acts). The New Testament Church was originated as a vehicle to carry the Great Commission. Somehow in the last 2000 years, we have downgraded the church to merely address our own preferences. Bryant didn’t want to strangle the message of Jesus Christ with ageless traditions that have nothing to do with the Bible. We have 60,000 unreached, unchurched people in our Brandon area and far too many churches that are more concerned with keeping “their people” happy than getting their hands dirty with the ministry Jesus modeled.

I had a conversation about my church. I was explaining how we are very simple with what we do: Preach the Gospel. I explained that we try to keep our environment relaxed so that people feel safe while hearing straightforward Truth. One of the ways we do that is by not having a standard church dress code. The rebuttal blew me away: “Yes, well, you need to make sure that you teach modesty and that people, after they get saved, know what God’s Word says and how to live it. You don’t want people coming to church in bikinis.” Wow. I really do understand where this response came from: A heart that has been seared by legalistic fundamentalism (the individual even admitted to that). Legalists have been preaching the Gospel of rules: Making the rules clear is more important than making Grace clear, because, what would happen, God forbid, if someone takes grace as far as to think a bikini is okay in church? I am not coming down on the person; however, I am calling out what we have been taught to be concerned about by the legalists. I mean, I explained what we are about, the Gospel, and I find out that the main concern is that we make sure no one comes into church with a bikini? I sincerely doubt no one in their right mind would come to church in a bikini. But then, I am new to all of this so you may soon see a blog entitled “The Day I Saw a Bikini At Church”.

Have we forgotten that the purpose of the church was to care for the orphans, the widows, the homeless, the prostitutes, the druggies, the religious people, the young, the old, the forgotten, the betrayed, the sick, the hurting? Have we let clothing, carpet color, age, service times, and music, all preferences, keep us from the timeless message of the Gospel and the Great Commission? We need a wake-up call…Church isn’t about me – it’s about Jesus…and last time I checked, Jesus was about Grace…and grace is about loving the undeserving…because isn’t that all of us?

I am so thankful for Centerpoint Church, a group of people who have given sacrificially of their time, money, and resources. They have laid aside their personal preferences in order to accomplish the Great Commission (reach the 60,000 unchurched people in our area). As a result, people are getting saved every week; lives are being changed every week. Marriages are being restored, dads are leading families, teenagers are confessing secret sins, single moms are finding healing.

CCers are some of my favorite people. I love you guys!

www.centerpointfl.org

Getting Grace

Forgiveness. Grace. Salvation. Freedom. Security...

These words have been floating around in my head for a while now. God has recently brought me through circumstances where I have had to accept His forgiveness and grace and also extend this forgiveness and grace to other people. I have come to realize that what everyone says is true: if I do not believe I am forgiven and loved by God, I will not be able to forgive and love other people. If I only have head knowledge of the forgiveness and grace (I know the verses) and don't actually believe and experience them (live them), then I am just as skrewed (I sat and tried to think of another way to put that, but I couldn't. Sorry).

I can't get past this thought: When I accepted Jesus as my Savior at four years old, I really didn't grasp His forgiveness and grace. I mean, c'mon...I was four and the worse thing I had done is lie about my ruffle underwear (look to previous posts for that story). I knew I was going to Hell and instead wanted to spend eternity with Jesus (just a word here to all of my fundamental legalists: those who say that if someone's main concern at his/her time of Salvation is just to escape Hell may not truly be saved, get over yourselves and read the Bible. Jesus spoke four times more about Hell then Heaven and so obviously wanted people to realize the severity of it in hopes that they would not want to go there. It is people like you who made me terrified for years that I may not be saved when I most certainly am. Thanks). Anyways... :)

While I am thankful that I accepted Jesus as my Savior at a young age, I had a head knowledge of God's grace, but not the experimental knowledge. I grew up thinking that I was "okay" because I had not committed any of the "really bad sins". However, when I got into college and my young adult years, I began to realize that when I failed, and failed miserably, I had a hard time accepting the fact that I truly was forgiven and already had God's favor and so didn't need to live defeated and/or in fear. But isn't that the Gospel? I am so excited because I feel like for the first time in my life, I am beginning to understand and experience the Good News of Salvation...God's grace covers my sin! I am free to live the abundant life and don't need to walk around ashamed or trying to prove myself to God. He loves me and values me as much as He does Jesus Christ.

And this knowledge frees me to forgive and to shower undeserved, unconditional grace on others. The following excerpt comes from Chuck Swindoll (I am a big fan) and applies to our receiving God's forgiveness and grace and then overflowing them onto others.

Amazing, isn't it, how Joseph's acts of grace freed up everyone around the tables. At the outset, there were feelings of anxiety and dread as guilt held them in its grip. Their fear had known no bounds as they returned to Egypt, wondering what they would face.

Within a brief span of time, they found themselves treated kindly, sitting around a banquet table loaded with food, and, of all things, relaxing in the joyful presence of royalty. What relief! Better than that, what grace! They were the recipients of favor they hadn't earned and kindness they didn't deserve. And they were overloaded with an abundance of provisions they could never repay. Is anyone surprised they were astonished and no longer afraid? Their fear was now displaced by grace. Why? One reason---Joseph. This great man, though not as yet known to them to be their brother, determined to forgive their mistreatment and, instead, demonstrate great grace. Rather than remind them of their wrongs and force them to pay for their cruelty and injustices from years gone by, he showed them favor to the maximum extreme. This reunion was really a banquet of grace---on full display---thanks to Joseph, a man of integrity and forgiveness. 

Lord, make me a woman of integrity and forgiveness. Amen.

Defined by Freedom

In my Bible reading today, I came across a familiar verse, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” I had never stopped to consider the context of this powerful statement.

Just verses before, Jesus interacts with a woman being used as a pawn by the religious leaders who claim to have caught her “in the very act of adultery” (interesting accusation that leaves much to the imagination). Jesus knew the religious leaders were attempting to ensnare Him and He wisely gives them permission to stone her, but only if they themselves are without sin. The eldest of the accusers walk away first, coming to grips with Jesus’ point:  Their own sin disqualifies them from leveling condemnation. The woman is left standing before Jesus, the only One Who has the right to strike her dead. His comments echo through the chambers of grace: “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you? Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more”.

“The wages of sin is death…But the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ…”

At this point, Jesus has gathered a crowd. Therefore, Jesus testifies: “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

The religious leaders, still reeling from being outwitted by the Master Teacher, refuse to humble themselves and so reply, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?”

Jesus reminds the religious leaders of the point He just made when they wanted to stone the adulteress: Sin is an equalizer. No one is free from the condemnation sin inflicts because no one is free of sin.

“For all have sinned…”

Jesus explains, “Everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin. The slave does not remain in the house forever; the son remains forever.” Sin is an equalizer, and sin enslaves. While a slave may be a member of a household, he is not free: He is not a son.  The religious leaders thought that since they followed a strict set of laws, they were a part of a religious household. Indeed they did belong in the household, but only as a servant belongs to a master. They lived under the dictatorship of religious codes. Consequently, Jesus says, “There is one who accuses you: Moses, on whom you have set your hope.” The religious leaders stood condemned by the law that they sought so diligently to follow. They were not free, and they, in their honest moments, knew this to be true.

Jesus proves His superiority to the religious leaders by claiming to be the Son of the Father of the household. Jesus has preeminence over the slaves. Instead of damning the slaves to perpetual bondage in following religious laws, He has chosen to proclaim freedom…constant, eternal freedom through a relationship with Him.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

Instead of living as a slave to religion, Jesus invites His followers into a relationship with Him and His Father. The relationship is based on grace and frees the individual from guilt and condemnation. He/she no longer needs to feel as though he/she has to keep a list of rules for love, acceptance, worth, security. He/she is accepted by God the Father based on the death of His Son.

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’”

Once I claim Jesus’ death and resurrection as my only hope, I receive Christ’s life. His past, present, future all become mine. I am forgiven. When God sees me, He sees Jesus. I have nothing to prove to Him. I don’t have to earn His approval. I have it.

Paul says in Galatians, “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery…or Christ will be of no advantage to you.” Don’t let a list of rules define you…let Jesus’ life, which is in you, define you. You are loved, accepted, worthy, and secure because Jesus lives inside of you. God values you as much as He values Jesus. You are worth Jesus to God. Period.

Legalism: Throwing Stones

“God did not ration His grace to me so I will not ration it to others.”

Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of Our God.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11

If we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9

I have my juniors read The Scarlet Letter within the first few weeks of school. Although they complain about the language and the length, they are captivated by a story that intermixes judgment, revenge, shame and hypocrisy. Why? Because they can relate.

We talk about how in our churches today, we don’t make sinners wear a “Scarlet Letter” of sorts. However, we do have our lists of seemingly “unforgiveable sins”. I asked my students what they thought those were. Here are what we as the church are communicating to sixteen and seventeen year olds as just some the unforgiveable sins:

-          Murder

-          Abortion

-          Homosexuality

-          Adultery

-          Divorce

Divorce. One of my students shared that because his father was divorced, he was not able to be a deacon in his church. His story broke my heart. I personally know his father…he is an awesome guy. He loves the Lord and takes great care of his family. I realize that every church has the right to determine what their specific qualifications for leadership will be, however, have we elevated divorce to some other level above every other sin? I realize that each scenario is different…for instance, I would be uncomfortable if my Pastor or one of my Deacons got a divorce while in his present position and never stepped down to organize and deal with his personal issues. However, if the divorce happened in the past and the man has since proven his devotion to the Lord and to his family, do we still hold that against him? You may be running 1 Timothy 3 through your mind frantically looking for the clause that states, “husband of but one wife”. However, upon further study, you will realize that the Greek means, “devoted to one woman”. Also, don’t ignore the line, “the overseer must be above reproach”.  You must realize that if applied extremely and absolutely literally, this verse takes all of us out of the game because I don’t remember the last time I was ever perfectly above reproach. In fact, I should step down from my ministry yesterday if this were the case.

If your feathers are beginning to ruffled, God knows that I am not trying to bash the church or excuse sin. I love the church…I am all about the church and I am paranoid of sin. However, I am pretty fed up with those of us who make up the body of Christ “benching” fellow believers so to speak because they skrewed up at one point in their lives.  Is that honestly what Jesus did? I have been glued to John 8 over the past couple of weeks. A woman “caught in the very act of adultery” is dragged before Jesus and threatened to be killed. Jesus bends over and writes in the sand. As He stands up, He says, “Sure, stone her. Only those of you who don’t have any sin in your lives, throw the first stone.” The Bible is clear that the oldest walked away first, leaving only Jesus and the woman. Realize, Jesus had every right to kill her. But He didn’t. Instead, He says, “I don’t condemn you. Go and leave your life of sin.” The woman walks away perfectly free…free to follow Jesus and to serve Jesus. He put no stipulations on her. So why would we?

What about the Apostle Paul? Here is a man who thought he was being a devoted follower of God, only to realize he had it all wrong. After his Salvation, he has to deal with the fact that he is a murderer. Is it any wonder why he says in Philippians 3:12-13, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect…But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead...”? Later, in 1 Corinthians 15, he grapples again with his past by stating that he was “one abnormally born” into the family of God and “the least of the apostles and does not even deserve to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.” I wonder…would we let someone like Paul into our churches as a Pastor or a Deacon today? I mean really think about that. Paul goes on to say, “But by the grace of God I am what I am.” Amen! Isn’t that true of all of us? Yeah, we sin and have some pretty messy pasts…and that sin may have happened when we were unsaved or even saved. However, if we have asked God’s forgiveness and He has showered His grace over us and we are now living pure, God-honoring lives, are we really limited to only certain ministry positions? I just can’t seem to wrap my mind around that.

Alright, well enough with my ranting and raving. I am sure I am going to get slammed with comments remarking on how I have forgotten this verse or have overlooked that chapter. But I just want to leave you with Jesus’s words…”If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Offended...Insights from a Recovering Legalist

Paul says in Galatians that Jesus Christ is offensive. In John 6, Jesus asks if those following Him were offended. Oswald Chambers says Jesus Christ is the most inconsistent person who has ever walked the face of the earth.

Think about it… He forgave adulterers but convicted religious leaders. He would rather have dinner with a thief than with a scholar. He touched lepers but angered the Pharisees. He broke the religious codes but preached devotion to God. He befriended a man He knew would betray Him. He welcomed children but refused to answer politicians. He spoke in parables knowingly confusing some, allowed a man to die whom He later resurrected, He told people to respect a government obviously opposed to God.

He claimed to be the Messiah but prophesied His own death.

He was a man of seeming contradictions…or was He?

When Jesus asked His disciples if they would follow the crowds and flock away from Him, Peter answered, “Where are we going to go? You are the one with Eternal Life…If You aren’t Who you say you are, we’re all in trouble.”

How could Peter say this? Peter knew his own heart…he knew that if Jesus wasn’t Grace, if Jesus wasn’t Life, if He wasn’t Truth, Peter was damned…literally. Why? Because Peter knew he was a man of inconsistencies. He would rebuke Jesus for talking about dying for the sins of the world.  He would promise to be faithful to Jesus and yet deny Him three times. He would preach grace to Gentiles and yet side with the Jews. His name meant “rock”, but he knew he was a coward. Until the resurrection…

Peter understood his own failures…but stood amazed at the forgiveness of God. His actions were often inconsistent with what he claimed to believe. Jesus was always consistent with Grace.

I don’t understand grace…I am trying to…but I am a long ways away. Legalism preaches safety in perfectionism and perfectionism is only accomplished by following a long list of do’s and don’ts. If I can follow my list, then I won’t have to deal with the guilt and consequences of sin. I cling tightly to my list because of fear…fear of condemnation. My list becomes my “god”. I don’t have a relationship. I don’t need a Savior. I am in control. Isn’t that what Jesus wants? Isn’t that what the Bible preaches?

Who’s being inconsistent?

What do I do when I interact with people who maybe didn’t follow their own lists? What do I tell them? Is there hope? I would say “Yes!”…but then again, how I have lived my life for so many years screams: “No! There is no hope…if you violate your list, you are done for. The end. Nice knowing you.”
“Hi, my name is Nicole and I am an inconsistent legalist.” Yeah. The truth hurts.

God, free me from my own inconsistencies. Believing in grace is scary…it means I let go of all control over my life and the lives of others. It means I believe what the Bible says…

Liars are friends of God…Abraham.
Adulterers are men after God’s own heart…David.
The arrogant are chosen to lead…Joseph.
Murderers are the mightiest leaders…Moses, Paul.
Unbelievers become pillars of the church…James.
Backstabbers father Nations…Jacob.
Idolaters are priests…Aaron.
Drunkards experience miracles…Noah.
Prostitutes are the best worshippers…Mary Magdalene.
Thieves become the greatest givers…Zaccheus.

Believing in grace means I get to embark on the greatest adventure…the opportunity to see You transform lives…starting with mine.