September 6, 2013

Forgiveness Part 1: Who's Paying the Rent?

I went to my blog to see what I had written in regards to "Forgiveness". I had eleven blogs. Wow. Apparently, I have wrestled with this word and its implications in my life. No, not apparently. Definitely. And I would be the first person to tell you that thinking about forgiveness sucks, but actually experiencing the after-effects of forgiveness rocks.

So over the next few days, I am going to do a series on Forgiveness. Buckle your seat belts  cause it isn't going to be an easy ride. But I will make this promise: If you stick it out to the end, it will be the best ride you've ever been on.

In the section labeled "Forgiveness" on my blog, I have a conglomeration of posts written on both receiving and appropriating God's forgiveness. That's interesting because here's the key: If you don't accept God's forgiveness for you and if you haven't forgiven yourself, you will never be able to forgive other people. Let me say it another way: If you do not bask in God's grace daily for yourself, then you will not be able to offer God's grace unconditionally to others. And you and I both know that people who don't forgive are miserable and hurtful. Why? Because "someone else is taking up rent in their heads for free." I love that statement (I stole it from Ray Pritchard). It's hilariously true. And the following statement is just as true but not as funny: "Hurting people hurt people". What else can they do? They don't have the emotional capital to offer healing and grace to others because it's all being spent on paying for someone else's rent.

So here's the bottom line: Refusing forgiveness and refusing to forgive leave us in bondage. Jesus explained this is Matthew 18, you know, the famous parable about the servants:

"At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “'Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?'” Jesus replied, “'Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven. The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market. The poor wretch threw himself at the king’s feet and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt. The servant was no sooner out of the room when he came upon one of his fellow servants who owed him ten dollars. He seized him by the throat and demanded, ‘Pay up. Now!’ The poor wretch threw himself down and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ But he wouldn’t do it. He had him arrested and put in jail until the debt was paid. When the other servants saw this going on, they were outraged and brought a detailed report to the king. The king summoned the man and said, ‘You evil servant! I forgave your entire debt when you begged me for mercy. Shouldn’t you be compelled to be merciful to your fellow servant who asked for mercy?’ The king was furious and put the screws to the man until he paid back his entire debt. And that’s exactly what my Father in heaven is going to do to each one of you who doesn’t forgive unconditionally anyone who asks for mercy."

The first servant owed way more than he was ever going to be able to repay. So, the King "erased the debt". I love that. The debt no longer existed. When the King saw the servant, he didn't see the debt anymore. It was gone. However, the servant didn't truly believe the King had erased the debt. Instead, he thought the King was just buying him time to pay it back. Why else would he attack his friend ("fellow servant") who only owed $10? The first servant knew in his heart of hearts he owed the King what was rightly due him. He felt compelled to pay him back due to his pride and embarrassment that his debt had gotten so out of control. In an effort to save face, he attacks his co-worker. The first servant is taking out his anger for himself at falling short on his friend (adapted from Healing for Damaged Emotions).

Well, he did it in front of a crowd and the King was quickly informed. Angry that the servant did not appreciate his forgiveness, he threw him in prison. Other translations say the servant was tormented there. Let me explain something that often gets mistranslated. God is not going to refuse forgiveness to you if you do not offer it to others. He can't. That's contradictory to His character. However, you will live inwardly tormented and in bondage until you release the other person from the debt he/she owes you. You will never truly know peace and experience God's forgiveness of you if you cannot extend that same forgiveness to someone else. Chuck Swindoll explains it this way, 

To refuse to forgive inflicts inner torment upon us...Jesus says God personally will allow those who refuse to forgive others to be tortured...pain, agony, and torment are all a part of this torturous experience...He is saying the one who refuses to forgive, the Christian who harbors grudges, bitter feelings toward another, will be turned over to torturous thoughts, feelings of misery, and agonizing unrest within. It is one of the horrible consequences of not forgiving those who offend us...Believe me; it is not worth the misery. We are to forgive as we have been forgiven! Release the poison of all that bitterness...let it gush out before God, and declare the sincere desire to be free.

If you do not fully comprehend the Gospel and the weight of the debt that was erased for you, you will not be able to forgive...and forgive...and forgive.

No comments:

Post a Comment