The Other Woman

Catchy title, huh? Were you hoping for something scandalous? Well, don't be disappointed. You may not realize this, but each of us has an "Other Woman" who is attempting to sabotage our friendships, marriages, children, careers, ministries...really, our entire lives. Who is She?

She doesn't live across the street, but She comes over to your house regularly. You don't talk to her, but She goes to your church. You would never invite her out for coffee or lunch, but She shows up uninvited all of the time. She spends more time with your husband, friends, and your children than you would like. She wrecks the perfect day and steals the joy from any memory. Who is She?

Look in the mirror. If you stare closely enough, you'll see her. She's you.

Women are unique. We are complicated. We are messy. Let's just face the facts. Since the Garden of Eden, we have wanted the control and have bought into every lie in order to obtain control. One of those lies is that we cannot be broken, weak, or vulnerable. The only problem is, because of the sin invested world we live in, we will experience one of these emotions, and most likely at the hands of someone we trusted deeply. So what do you we do? What any good daughter of Eve would do...we stuff those feelings deep down inside and they develop a life, literally a life, of their own. She is the Other Woman.

So often we don't even know She is there. But if you pay closer attention, you will begin to see the figure of a woman emerge from the shadows of pain.

When you live vicariously through your children because you feel like you missed out on something or your life is just so boring, She's there.

When your life centers around your fashion, your cooking, and your decorations, She's there.

When you are scared to death to get to know people and to build intimate relationships, She's there.

When you hide behind activity and ministry because you want to be noticed, She's there.

When you experience bouts of depression, She's there.

When you are suspicious of every person in your life, She's there.

When you can't explain your anxiety or your fear, She's there.

When you think God is out to get you, She's there.

When you can't enjoy God's goodness because you are preparing for the next storm, She's there.

Do you see her? I sure do. If I had children, I could say I can see her in every one of those confessions. She specializes in "What if?" and "If only..." She goes by many names...but her favorite is "Abandonment". Each of us has experienced Abandonment in some way. Usually, the pain is so deep, we do what we can to bury it and escape it. However, any time we feel overlooked, ignored, replaced, mistreated, or hurt, we subconsciously feed Abandonment. The Bible says "a broken spirit dries up the bones." Abandonment breaks our spirits and if we don't allow God to heal us, we will dry up. We have too many dried up woman in our homes, work places, churches, gyms, and schools. How do we experience healing?

Stay tuned.